Flux Lounge


The Boy Who Giggled So Sweet… No More…
September 12, 2007, 2:21 am
Filed under: Life

The Boy Who Giggled So Sweet

He was there before… Juggling. Kicking. Dancing. Moving. He’s so precious. He is magic! What life could give me. What’s the word ‘life’ could ever offered me. What God would’ve send me and what God has taken back… Everything that happen was all on God’s will. Everything was in God’s hand and it will always be in that way. I must say I missed him a lot. And I’ll missed him forever until the day come before we could met again and become one family… Again.

It rains heavily the night after I, my self burried him on that very opening pore. It was heavy as it is heavily raining inside of me. I couldn’t sleep that night, thinking that he might gets cold. Thinking that he might get so wet in the darkness of that graveyard. But he got his grand dad over there. Lying side by side, to watch over him from that very date of September 8, 2007….

A boy. Nameless….

Or I’ve kept thinking to call him Amir. I don’t know why but the name keeps on waving around my head and couldn’t find his way out. I missed you… I must say that again… And I want you to know that you are the most special things that ever happen in my life. I am you… And you are me…

Mimie’s crying. Never wanted to look at him…

I know how she felt. I’m in the same deep pain as you my dear. There’s nothing we could do against God’s will. “God’s loved him more…” That’s what I told you. That’s what I told to my self. “He’ll be waiting for us in heaven. He’ll be praying for us and he’ll be watching us and visiting us from time to time.” I understand why you didn’t wanted to look at him. You’ll feel hopeless. You’ll cry again. Please… Don’t cry love. He don’t want you to cry. He don’t want you to feel sad… Please be strong for him and for me.

I went home alone starting from that Saturday night. September 8, 2007. Mimie was at my in-laws place. Resting. It’s our new house my boy. Ayah dan Bonda sediakan semuanya buat kamu. Ruang yang luas buat kamu bergerak bebas dalam proses pembesaran kamu nanti. But now, it all felt empty. Eventhough, before this, it was just daddy and mommy… You was not even there yet. But we’ve planned. Everything should be for you. Like once my friend, Suzan told me… Working for my baby. It’s him who gave all the motivation.

Friends call and sms…

Burn’s not here. He’s still in Jakarta. He was praying over sms. Shalie call and try to calm me down with non stop heartfelt for me and Mimie. Fieza was crying out loud over the phone which makes me couldn’t hold my tears anymore… I was crying like a child in front of the maternity ward of Sungai Buloh Hospital. I was crying while holding my boy’s unmoved body. He was so quiet and denied to show more kicking and jumping action… I was alone… Holding him in my shivering arms. And Mimie was alone in that unforgetable labour room. No one was there to wipe out my tears and I can’t be there to wipe out mimie’s…

I missed you. My boy…

All this while I’ve learn how to talk to my wife’s tummy. I’ve touched you from outside. According to doctors, by that time you already know when someone talks to you. You even already know on how to smile. To giggled around mommy’s tummy. You was 15 weeks years old. 3 months plus. You had your own playground inside. And by the time I first saw you, I was speechless. I was so thankful that soon I’m gonna be a father. And we’ve spend the whole 3 months talking, singing, dancing, hugging and sleeping together. The three of us. You, me and mommy…

But God’s loved you even more. And he took you before me and mommy ever had a chance to stare in your beautiful eyes. Before we had a chance to hold your hands and touch your skins. God’s loved you and so do I and your mommy. And we’ll never stop loving you till the day we close our eyes. And until the time comes, we’ll meet again soon… My boy. My precious boy….

He came with the breeze
She told everyone, in the cold
She would hold him and sing a song
Sweet little mother, singing her sad, sad song
To her beautiful boy that giggled so sweet

The days went by until one little night
with this one little moon hanging in its black
Sweet little father, whispered his goodnight song
In the ear of the boy who giggled so sweet

“My baby, my beauty, my boy, my baby,
What is your favourite song of all songs?
Sweet baby, my love, my darling, my baby,
Forever your rosie little lips won’t turn blue…”

I won’t let nights hurt you,
I won’t let them take you,
Take my hand and we’ll run up that tree.

I won’t let days hurt you,
I wont let them break you,
if so my little heart will die,
if so my tears will freeze and turn grey.”

He just stared in her hardworking arms,
His rosie little lips had turned blue,
Sweet little mother, chanted her goodnight song,
for her beautiful boy that giggled so sweet.

“My baby, my beauty, my boy, my baby,
What is your favourite song of all songs?
Sweet baby, my love, my darling, my baby,
Forever your rosie little lips won’t turn blue…”

They took the boy who giggled so sweet,
Frozen grey tears glanced on her cheek,
And the goodnight song,
She never stopped singing,
Danced from her lips,
Down the dark grey street.

“My baby, my beauty, my boy, my baby,
What is your favourite song of all songs?
Sweet baby, my love, my darling, my baby,
Forever your rosie little lips won’t turn blue…”

Until the day we meet again… I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
And my love for you will never dies. I’ll love you forever and ever…
May you rest in peace and will always safe in God’s heaven…

Al-Fatihah…


7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Beb sabar bebanyak. Sorry I couldn’t be there for you guyz. Ckp kat Mimie yg anak korang dah sah masuk syurga n akan tolong korang kat akhirat nanti. Aku sentiasa berdoa utk dia n harap korang terima semua ini dgn redha.

Comment by Burn

Thanks beb! Alhamdulillah, aku n mimie dah bleh overcome this reality bit by bit.. Doakan sahaja insyaallah..!

Comment by Farul Azri

sabar jela .
i know how hurt it feels .

ohh ckp abg burn tu btol oo!

Comment by fyka

Erm..Beb..Sgt sedih sumer nih..

Comment by Dell Devil..

nak buat mcm mana.. semuanya ketentuan tuhan…

Comment by Farul Azri

u’ve never told me this till ur mum mentioned it a few days back… not even my mum told me this.. felt sad at 1st not knowing this happened to my cuz… … i’m so sorry….. don worry bro.. there’ll be another one… insyaAllah.. have faith in HIM…

Comment by NINA

what to do kakak? doa la banyak..😀

Comment by Farul Azri




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